Invest your time in something that matters – you.
May 11, 2008
She spent two days making her outfit, spent her last $50 on a new pair of shoes. She had her nails and hair done, spent 45 minutes putting on her makeup. When she got there, she spent the entire evening sitting in the corner, half smiling, half crying. On the outside she looked beautiful. On the inside she felt worthless.
That’s been me on so many occasions; more than I care to admit. I hadn’t learned that my true beauty was on the inside. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not too bad on the eyes but I know I’m far from a beauty queen. My problem with the word “beauty” is…who dictates it? Who gets to set the standard? Where does beauty end and ugly begin? Beauty is as varied as there are people on the face of this earth. I spent so much time investing a fortune trying to make myself look good to the world and on the inside I was falling apart. I’ve always managed to say and do the right things but when I was alone I cried silent and desperate tears. That’s when I knew it was time to PAUSE and allow myself to heal. Heal from all the lies I’ve allowed myself to absorb from others and also those lies I’ve told myself. Release. Heal. Love. The time had come for me to invest time in finding who I am and find out what’s really going on inside of me. I cannot lie, some days – most days I still wrestle with my confidence but my definition of beauty has drastically changed. I am beautiful. Now that I know that, my outside shines with as much beauty as the in.
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